I
was having a conversation with a coworker about the new live action
pinocchio movie that was coming out. As I recalled some dark themes,
I said that I would hesitate to let my kids see that movie. A third
co worker chimed in. Now, before I tell you what he said, I must tell
you a little about this person. This co worker is male, childless and
approximately 21 years old. While listening to our conversation he
says, "I would let my kids watch it. I watched it and everything
I watched made the person I am today." His opinion contains a
gap of knowledge. On the most basic level one of the most striking
things of being a parent is finding out how unique your children are
compared to you. They are a unique selection of personalities and
experiences and react differently and sometimes your best intentions
do little to help you avoid pitfalls as a parent. He doesn't know
this and that's okay. It just simply means that I will either need to
educate him on that fact or simply hold my tongue. Either scenario is
perfectly fine with me. This leads me to my main point- group think.
I
dont view racism, sexism, and other isms as much of an issue as group
think. To be clear, if you google racism and sexism you get the
following defintions.
racism-prejudice,
discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different
race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.
sexism-prejudice,
stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the
basis of sex.
So
these are the definitions I am running on. I live and grew up in a mainly white community, but I never really understood the concept of skin
colour based identity. I probably would have understood stronger differences between french people and non-french people than any sort of "race" identity. I had some Aboriginal friends. They were nice for the most part. My aunt was Spanish Mexican and is/was always very sweet and cordial to me. Racial superiority just never entered my mind until I was exposed to american history/tv and culture. This isnt to say that I dont think its a thing, but I think many peoples experiences can be classified as issues of group think rather than racism.
Sexism is a bit more complicated an issue, at least from my perspective, but I feel many issues that people relate to gender are actually issues of group think.
Group think is the desire for uniformity and conformity of beliefs, opinions and identity within a group. As an example, before I was married people would often tell me, "you'll understand when you get married," Then when I was married people would say, "you'll understand when you have kids." Now people have various milestones they feel represent "real" maturity. I have found this to be a universal human condition. We like things that feel familiar. We like people who look like us, talk like us, think like us. We expect other people to conform to our unspoken norms and not to deviate. This is one reason I have always enjoyed humour because I can calmly poke the norms and it makes everyone happy when your doing it for laughs. Yet one thing I have always felt strongly,on that to create a peaceful, happy world sometimes you need to put your own notions of conformity and group think on the table and allow for the consideration that people who don't match your ideas perfectly might still have something to say.
Getting back to my coworker. I dont think that because of his failure to understand that he is no longer worthy of my friendship or has nothing to contribute to me. It just simply tells me that I will have to work harder to reach him because he forms opinions without fully understanding the facts. I have always aspired to try to be good at relating to people. There is such a huge variety of experiences and personalities that can enhance your world. Group think often just puts stumbling blocks in the way.
One way I have felt the oppressive bent of group think is in my love for comic books. I grew up before the big marvel, disney, superhero pushes in the 00's. I grew up when liking comic books wasnt main stream. People smiled condescendingly when I would talk about it and I often shared my passion with groups of social rejects. It wasnt considered cool.
Fast forward to today. My sons LOVE all things superhero, as most young boys do. I showed them a clip from the movie Thor. This was brilliant film directed by Kenneth Branagh for whom I share a deep admiration and the scene was played by Anthony Hopkins (also love) as Odin and Chris Hemsworth (kind of indifferent). as Thor. In this scene Odin has just saved Thor and his friends from the world of the frost giants and has brought them back to the safety of their home and they talk. Odin chides Thor's lack of impulse control and when Thor responds with petulance Odin strip him of his power and banishes him from their home. I found this an excellent opportunity to teach.my son that Thor was punished because he wasnt taking care of his family and that a person must always look after the safety of their family. I told my sons, "you will always be powerful, but you must use that power to protect." I explained that they will always be bigger and stronger than their sister and that it is important that they look after their little sister.
As I went away and thought about it, I genuinely believe my Christian faith has a correlation with my love for super heros. Super heros live in a world where they sacrifice for the greater good. Where they believe in something that drives them to use their gifts for a greater purpose. Prestige, pride and vanity are not ideas that make a great superhero, they are his/her villains. I am surprised when people reject notions of responsibility and honour under the guise of individuality. The world needs more superheros and I hope to raise a few.
Sorry reader. Not my most cohesive blog posts. It all kind of runs together. Hopefully made sense. Please find bellow a link to the clip from the movie I described. Watch it. It is dramatic and beautiful.
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