The burden of Fatherhood and Manhood I had a good example of a father. My Dad spent lots of time with me. He took me places. Spent lots of time talking to me. Even when we disagreed I always knew he still loved me. He really had it right and I can imagine if he were still around I'll bet he would have wished he would have understood those lessons better earlier. IN his final days he commented that really family is all you have left. And its true. In light of this I reflect on this last week. My son Azariah has been particularly clingy to me. He will push all of his toys aside and scurry into my arms. He falls asleep on my lap regularly and delights to stand on my shoulders. If I am holding him and i put him down before he is quite ready for it he will cry and whine. I have found this strange because it seems like relationships have always been the domain of women. Fatherhood isnt something that comes as naturally as motherhood, or at least thats how it looks from my perspective. Fundamentally, it seems to me women are trained to care- for each other, for family, for their children. Men are given models of power and control and base their sense of worth on their power and control. As we age we lose power and control, but the family that many women in my world invest in continues to give them strength. It is the strength of womanhood to build towards a place where faith, love and loyalty bind them to one another as the roots of an ancient tree. Men are tasked with something different. For a man, his power is his badge of honour. A man who has no job, owns nothing of worth, has no companion...well some might ask, "is this really a man?" Yet stereotypes should never define us, nor should the social script be followed to the letter. There is a secret in fatherhood and husbanding that many have discovered (some later in life). These roles steal your power but grant you those deep roots. A man who loves his wife and carries his son and dresses up.....is this still a man? Yes. This is a man who has discovered the secret of the ages in that to continue to be friends with your wife and to invest in your children cannot be compared to the value of a nice house or car. These things will rust and fade away. So, as the scripture says, I put my treasure in common vessels. Let it be my declaration to a confused world that me driving a lexus or a grand am are meaningless elements, but it is the love of my family and the fellowship of my Christ that I hold up with honour. I dont care who admires me, i appreciate it, but like a delicious meal I know it will be gone just as quick as it came. So I sit here with my son knocking at the office door wanting to get in here and pull cords apart and have me play with him. Or my wife who will call me on my cell phone to come into the living room to share some tiny piece of her joy.