Thanksgiving or as I like to call it every day of my year

So its a curious phase in the life of the Vogt clan. We tried another kick at the can with me applying to get my PhD in Religious Studies. I have a Master's degree and wanting to be a professor the next logical step was PhD. We waited for a response for 7 months. I look in my email....I see the email.....I open the email............wait for it.......and I am .......rejected. Thats the second time a Canadian school told me I didnt have the right stuff for PhD studies as well as a teacher from my old school who said the same. So what does one do with rejection you ask? Do I weep or feel sorry for myself? Well, let me give you a run down of some of things I have been rejected from: intelligence officer for csis (canadian spy agency), RCMP, tech at a radio station, tech for a law firm, border guard, McDonalds, manure spreader, even the military conveniently let me know that they weren't hiring. So yah, lets just say me and rejection are on a first name basis. Some of those rejections, I must admit, I was very disappointed about. SOme I had great hopes for. Some I did for a laugh. I put sincere effort into all of them and they all failed miserably. So what is a guy to do. Here I am with a good (albeit not glamorous) job selling cell phones and more ambition than can be contained in this little town. Much to my surprise I was not disappointed at all. I wondered how I would feel. I read the email and immediately called my wife to tell her. She seemed quiet and didn't really say much. I took stock of my own emotions. I wasn't torn up, I wasn't depressed. I was....actually okay. I wasn't happy that is for sure, but the peaceful response brought some interesting contemplation. I realized I had forgotten all those people I might have touched, loved or encouraged along the way. I felt like my life had only purposed if I was focused on the goal I had in my mind. If I was moving then I was winning. But what I realize now is that I was actually having fun playing the game. It wasn't really about winning or losing anymore.

You see reader I grew up in a competitive environment and ambition and success were taught very young to me as the pinnacle of my existence. Yet as I have grown as a person I have been liberated to a new world. One in which I can still be ambitious, but trusting that I am not really on the line. When failures come up, its really okay. I have people to love and be loved by and thats really what counts. It sounds so cliche, but thats really what it comes down to. I surrender my sense of winning and losing to just becoming the kid who wants to play cooperative games where everybody wins. Thats who I am.

So that is the big thing that happened to us recently. On a lighter note, I shaved off my beard that I had been growing for about 4 months. *I have not been without facial hair in about 6 1/2 years*
   

I feel these pictures do wonders to keep my dignity in check. I look like I have gone insane and gotten rid of all my hair and clothes. 

I have really gotten to know my newest son Kerean lately. That boy is loud and he has his preferences. Let me tell you. The first little bit I thought he was colic, but what I figure is he was just yelling at us the whole time because he thought we were parenting him wrong. Whats really wonderful is when you realize what it takes to shut him up. For example, if he is cuddling with you, you better be committed because if you decide to transition him to a crib...oh boy. Whats really neat is that now that I have gotten it in my mind that he is just really particular I dont stress out when he whines, I just try and figure out what he is asking for or at least the next best thing. Whats funny is that now that we have learned how to parent him his personality shows in some really beautiful ways. I love to see him giggle and smile at his mother. 

Azariah continues to be just the sweetest little boy. As you probably know reader, I lost my dad when I was 16. The father-son bond is something I am acutely aware of and I have found that so is he. Often he is over the moon when I come home from work. To make Azariah sleep, one of his favourite things is to cuddle with papa (me). If I am honest, I am happy to continue this tradition till he is 45.....then it might be getting weird. Another sweet time was as we were driving in the car, a song came on the stereo. It was the song bella notte. Its an Italian song I would sometimes sing to him for him to go to sleep. It melted my heart to hear him belt out the chorus for this song (belt it out as much as he would anyway). It makes me happy to know that I have put music in my sons heart. Good, peaceful, beautiful music. 

One final note. Doris has been obsessed with wraps. Essentially its a humongous blanket you wrap your baby in to carry them around. There are websites. Meetings. Some of these wraps cost huge dollars. Ill be honest, I dont understand it (more how much they cost), but I can see that there is a holistic, intimate and very personal method in this arena. She is excited to welcome her first high end wrap to the family whenever it happens to pass customs. I assume it will fly or do something special with all the excitement she puts behind it. To be honest, if it doesnt have a current going through it I dont usually have loads of interest, but I know my wife will enjoy something crazy high end for a while and then make it transform into a bunch of money at the end of it all. So I say, have your fun baby. 

What follows is a series of pictures that have no relevance to anything. They were just on my phone and I thought they would be an entertaining glimpse into the Vogt family.