Saturday, July 11, 2026

An Ode to Jim- "Dont wish the time away."


I had always had a complicated relationship with Jim. He was my mother’s husband. He moved into the role my father had occupied and that made him a usurper of sorts. He felt it and I did too. It was a strained relationship at times.  I was a developing adult and the security of my maternal relationship had meant a lot to me, but I found over time he had caused that to fray.

 

God was kind, though. At the same time these relationships were changing, I was cleaving to my fiancé and making my own family.

 

I was deeply in love. I have never loved carefully. Unaplogetic and passionate could characterize me. This was, apparently all she needed. She was enthralled with my enthusiasm and from a snowy day in April 2008, our courtship concluded on a cold winter day in February 2009 where I got to marry her.

 

I was so incredibly happy.

 

My brother in law, an incredibly talented photographer, took us to some really neat spots for photos. The steps of the Manitoba Legislature were one such spot. The stone steps of the building gleamed white and the crisp echo of every step reminds you that these stones were here before you and they will be here after you’re gone.

 

I took a few photos with my fiancĂ© and her family when Jim came in with my mom. He walked over to me and commented how he wanted $5 for parking. I gave it to him without a thought. I just didn’t care. I found out later that he was trying to make a joke. I didn’t get it. I didn’t care to get it. It was my wedding day and nothing else mattered. 

 

Later on, I was telling my mother all about how much excitement in the day My groomsmen had been wonderfully kind, looking after me with generosity and excitement. Time has carried us in different directions since then, but on that day they made me feel deeply loved.

 

In the middle of my excited rambling, I confessed something.

“I kind of wish it was all over already.”

In the distance, I heard Jims voice throw out a comment.

 

An almost incidental comment that seemed to just slink over to me in the wind of his breath.

 

“Don’t wish the time away,” he said. 

 It landed square on my heart.

 

Had I been wishing the time away?

 I had!  

 Absolutely I had.

 

What a simple and profound piece of wisdom that he likely thought nothing of. An incidental comment you make to an impetuous young man who is in love and lacks the wisdom to see that this was one of the greatest days of his life.

 

These words still haunt me. “Don’t wish the time away.”

What a lash these words left on my soul.

My soul, who only cares for the next success.

My soul that lacked the discipline to dine on the joy of the moment. 

 

This line, spoken casually, has stayed with me.

Perhaps it has left me with the single greatest lesson of my life.

 

“Dont wish the time away.” Now is now. Now will vanish away so quickly and

Now contains so many treasures and things to be grateful for.  

 

Oh my dear Jim.

How I wish you understood what that simple phrase meant to me.

 

I treasure those words.

I keep them in a safe place and I bring them out whenever I am struggling in my marriage or my children are less than perfect.

When I am facing adversity, I remind myself that struggle is a sign of life.

I remember that so much of the beauty of life is in the process and what an epic tragedy if I allow that process to disappear unappreciated. 

Thursday, July 2, 2026

Forty-Five: Waking Up After a Long Sleep

Forty-Five: Waking Up After a Long Sleep

Today is my birthday, and it feels like the right time to reflect on where my family is and where we're headed. To do that, I have to go back to the early 2000s.

When I graduated from high school, I was directionless. I was somewhat antisocial, and when I lost my dad, I lost one of my main connections to the world around me. My Dad was my conenction to the world and I loved going places with him and meeting the dozens of unique characters who seemed to drift through his life. His death left a tremendous void.

I tried to fill that void in a healthy way. I had always considered myself a spiritual person, but I had never really sought out spiritual people. Eventually I found them—a large group of friends, along with older mentors, who attended the same church and largely accepted me as I was. They spoke often about sharing Jesus and reaching others with that message.

I followed some of those friends to a ministry school. There, I discovered that I loved the academic study of Scripture. At the same time, I longed to share ideas that I believed could help people find a deeper sense of purpose and meaning. In Christian circles, we call that "missions."

I found a master's program in British Columbia that focused on Bible translation. It seemed like the perfect blend of my love for missions, languages, and Scripture. To prepare for it, I enrolled at Providence. Since they didn't offer a linguistics track, I completed a degree in Teaching English instead.

I've always been drawn to games, and one of the secrets no one tells you about university is that success often comes from learning how to gamify the experience. I embraced it wholeheartedly and finished a three-year Bachelor of Arts in just two years.

By then, I had immersed myself in academics, and I had fallen in love with studying Scripture. My goal shifted. I remember tearfully telling my mother that I wanted to be a Bible professor. She stood on a chair to hug me because she wanted to feel more maternal in that moment. I decided I wanted to pursue a PhD and teach at the college level.

I began a master's degree at Providence. Unfortunately, by that point I was exhausted. What was intended to be a two-year program stretched into three years, and I ultimately was forced to complete a different degree than I had originally planned. I realized I needed to spend some time in the real world before deciding what came next.

I took a job as an Educational Assistant, working primarily with students who had significant behavioural challenges. I was hired for my size and the effectiveness of that size in keeping difficult kids in line

I loved many aspects of the work. I found myself increasingly drawn to education. I wasn't certain I wanted to become a classroom teacher, but I could see the appeal of helping people learn.

One memory still makes me laugh. During recess, a group of students was throwing around a football they weren't supposed to have. A very short female teacher attempted to confiscate it, only to become the unwilling participant in a spirited game of keep-away. In her defense, she laughed about it afterward.

Despite moments like that, I also became frustrated. Much of my role felt more like caretaking than teaching, and I found the constant oversight difficult. I began looking elsewhere.

Around that time, I was also working part-time at Staples, where I discovered I genuinely enjoyed sales. Moving into electronics sales felt like a natural progression.

Then, in 2008, I met my wife. We were married in 2009.

Marriage created a new urgency. It was no longer just about finding meaningful work for myself. I wanted to build a stable future for our family.

I thought perhaps teaching was still within reach. Surely, by now, I had enough prerequisites to enter teacher education.

I didn't.

But I wasn't ready to quit. In what felt like one last swing for the fences in my twenties, I enrolled at the University of Manitoba and completed another degree.

Armed with my newly earned credentials, I applied to teacher education.

I was rejected.

My prerequisites still weren't quite right. Introductory Physical Geography counted as geography instead of science, and universities have an incredible affection for policies.

So there I sat.

Three degrees.

No teaching certificate.

And if I wanted one, I'd have to go back and take even more undergraduate courses.

At that point, I was simply done with school.

I let the dream go.

Instead, I accepted a position at Bell MTS, that I have for many years very much enjoyed. Every day brought new people through the door. I loved technology, I enjoyed teaching customers, and I liked sales. The job combined all three in ways I hadn't expected.

During those years, I still made occasional attempts to revive my academic ambitions.

I applied to PhD programs.

I was told my transcript wasn't competitive.

I tried upgrading my academic record.

The message, while more politely worded, amounted to, "You've lost your academic momentum."

I even applied to business school.

Nothing worked.

By then I had accumulated a substantial background in biblical studies, ancient Greek, religious studies, and Teaching English—but none of those qualifications really mattered in my day-to-day work.

Oddly enough, I made peace with that.

I've spent the past fifteen years as an overqualified cellphone salesman.

And honestly?

It hasn't been a bad life.

The job gave me the flexibility to be present for my children. It allowed me to provide for my family while still being involved in their lives. That's worth far more than many careers can offer.

Still, I always felt the pull toward something more.

After six months, you can learn most of what my job has to offer. I had hoped to move into management, but aside from a brief stint as interim manager, very little changed over those fifteen years.

About a year ago, I decided it was time to revisit teaching.

Not because I needed a different title.

Because I needed a different future.

I calculated that I still needed seven or eight prerequisite courses, so I enrolled with an online university to begin completing them.

After I registered, I discovered that the Manitoba government was in the process of removing the prerequisite requirements for Early Years teacher education.

I contacted the university to verify it.

They confirmed it.

Instead of spending years taking additional undergraduate courses, my existing bachelor's degree would now be enough to apply.

Given the number of disappointments I'd experienced over the years, I applied very cautiously.

Then, in April, I received the email.

I got in.

After sixteen years of waiting, doors that had always remained closed suddenly opened.

Even now, I have mixed emotions.

A lifetime of setbacks has conditioned me to wonder what obstacle is waiting around the corner. Part of me keeps asking, "Have I thought of everything?"

And yet...

Everything has gone smoothly.

My employer agreed to let me work part-time while I'm in school. Ironically, they had previously told me they would never approve such an arrangement.

Our finances are in a place where we can manage the transition.

The pieces have simply fallen into place.

My mother once told me she had been praying that, when the time was right, things would simply begin to work.

They have.

Today, on my forty-fifth birthday, I find myself deeply grateful.

I'm grateful for the life my wife and I have built.

I'm grateful for children who give purpose to every sacrifice.

I'm grateful to God that sustained us during the years of waiting.

And I'm grateful that a dream I thought had died has quietly come back to life.

Soon, I'll begin preparing for a new chapter—one I've been chasing, in one form or another, for nearly half my life.

I hope to become the kind of teacher who gives students more than information. I hope to give them courage. To help young men and women discover wisdom, ask good questions, and not be afraid of the future.

For a long time, it felt like my life had been standing still.

Now, it feels like I've finally woken up from a very long sleep.

Big changes are coming to the House of Vogt.